The Zombie Nazi's

I finally have a moment. This week has been kind of weird. I don't really even know what day it is... I've kind of been living under a rock these last few days with being sick and then having a 2 day convention at work that I was barely awake for. So I'm not really sure what's going on in the world right now. I need to catch up. Also, my head is super congested so I apologize if what I'm about to write makes very little sense.

I did have some movie time while I was sick and let me tell you it got kind of weird. One of my co-workers told me about this one zombie movie and he told me it's a must see. Turns out he never even saw it, but out of sheer curiosity I watched it on Netflix instant. It's called Dead Snow and it's about these Nazi's turned zombies. It's a Norwegian movie so make sure you're up for reading subtitles AND guts. It's not your typical zombie movie because these zombies can run and jump and have strength, which are all no no's of the zombie world.

A bunch of kids decide to go to this one cabin for their break from medical school and while they're there, they meet this guy who tells them the woods are dangerous because it used to be a Nazi camp are and the town didn't like having the Nazi's there so they killed them, but some escaped. He told them the escaped were never found so they're still out there somewhere. Naturally, the Nazi's turned into zombies and throughout the movie kill all the kids. There's a lot of intestines in this movie. It's like the special effects team just learned how to make fake intestines and wanted to show off their skill.

If you're in the mood for a ridiculous zombie movie, you should watch this one. It's definitely a good movie when you're bored or home sick. I chased it with Ramona and Beezus.

Scary Times

Halloween/October are always the best times. It means fall and candy and costumes, but more importantly it means a bunch of scary movies are coming out. I don't usually see them because I'm a chicken shit, but this year there is one movie I really want to see and that's Buried. It's not so much a horror movie as it is a thriller and I love those thriller movies. I can't imagine that it would be scary if it takes place inside of a box.

I normally would have avoided a movie like this, but it has Ryan Reynolds in it and because of that I'm so there. He's a good actor and even if the script sucks, I think his presence would make the movie worth it. It's tough to play a role while stuck in a box trying to get out. I'm very curious. It comes out on Friday, but I feel like this movie needs to be seen closer to Halloween. So who's with me?

No One Likes You

M. Knight Shyamalan is coming out with a new movie called Devil and I have no desire to see the movie simply because his name is attached. I don’t understand why they keep letting him make movies. They’re awful!!! I will give him credit for The Sixth Sense. That movie was very good, but after that it’s like someone took his imagination away. He had one good movie in him and that was it, but no one seems to be stopping him from using up studio money and making crap movies. One of my coworkers said he was sitting in a movie theatre and they showed a preview for Devil and everyone in the audience was oohing and awing until M. Knight’s name came on the screen and everyone pretty much booed. That’s really bad.

I haven’t seen all of his movies because it would be a waste of my time, but I have seen a few before I came to my senses. My biggest beef is probably with Signs. That movie was alright until the moment you see the aliens and they look like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Leave that shit up to the imagination! Seeing their shadows and hearing them walk through the house is scary, but seeing fuzzy green men totally takes that fear away. Humans fear the unknown, that’s human 101, and the movie probably would have been better if the audience was allowed to use their imagination. The second I saw the fuzzy men, I checked out and the movie was dead to me. Also, the alien sightings in the movie went global and it would have been creepier if they stayed in the one small town where the movie took place. I also saw parts of The Happening and that movie is just laughable. The wind makes people kill themselves? Oy vey.

M. Knight does a cameo in the majority of his movies and that urks me. Who the hell does he think he is? Leave that stuff to the pros like Hitchcock. He knew how to make many good movies. Not just one. Seriously, someone needs to take this rich kids privileges away. Just because you have money and think you can do whatever you want, doesn’t mean you should.

Rant over.

Scream!

Remember in the late nineties when there was a teen horror movie craze? There was I Know What You Did Last Summer and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream 1 through 3. All the teen stars were in these cheesy horror movies and then there were like 5 spoof movies making fun of them. I will admit that I was hooked on those movies. Of course I Know What You Did Last Summer was my favorite because Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Michelle Gellar were the stars. And then when Sarah Michelle Gellar had a scene in Scream it was even better. I was just hooked. Well, looks like Scream 4 is coming out April, 15 2011. I don’t know how I feel about this. Having 3 Scream movies from the beginning was enough for me and then to have the fourth movie released exactly 11 years later is odd. I remember seeing posters for the movie a while back and it was supposed to be released in 2008, but I guess they pushed it another 3 years and changed the cast around. The original cast had Patrick Dempsey in it. How weird would that have been? I don’t think these movies hold up very well now, but then again there are people like me who ate up the phenomenon in the 90's and would more than likely see this movie for nostalgia.

The story is a continuation of the first 3 movies. Sydney Prescott is still the main character in the same town of Woodsboro. Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Neve Campbell are all coming back to shoot this movie too, which surprises me a little. Like I said, this movie seems like a small mistake and I’m surprised these actors would be ok with doing a 4th movie. Not to mention the fact that the movie is coming out mid April. At least release the movie in October or something. Who the hell wants to see a horror movie in mid April? I will still see the movie, but I hope they step it up. This would be competing with movies like Saw and Paranormal Activity, which are huge right now. Scream seems like such an old school movie in comparison. I guess we just have to wait and see.

Thrill Me

I pass the Seeley's Furniture building twice a day. It's a building that has been around for quite some time and has become famous. It's in a location where no one can miss it. At night, the sign lights up and can be seen from quite a distance. Even though the furniture store no longer exists, the building still stands and has become a landmark. Apparently, a lot of filming goes on in the building. If you pass the building and look close enough, you can see signs with information on how to rent out the space for filming. Also, if you're that close, you can see how utterly creepy the inside looks. If I were a filmmaker, I would definitely use the building to house my horror or thriller movie. So every time I pass this building, I'm reminded of the movie Session 9. Unless you're a film school student, I highly doubt you would know this movie and I only know it because my brother went to film school and it was sitting on the coffee table in our living room for some time when I was in high school. I was bored one day and decided that I should watch it out of sheer curiosity.

The front of the DVD case shows this chair in the middle of a run down room. At the time, I didn't understand the movie and I recall it being kind of weird, but the Seeley's building made me want to watch it again.

The movie is a thriller about this team hired to clean out an insane asylum because it's covered in asbestos. Of course things start to happen. The job is supposed to take 3 weeks, but the asbestos company really needs the money so they claim the job can be done in one week and charge a higher price. One of the workers finds a box of tapes with a reel to reel tape player and starts listening to therapy sessions with one of the past patience from the hospital who had multiple personalities. The movie is called Session 9 because it takes a turn for the worst when the session 9 tape begins to play. Kind of scary. I was watching the movie in broad day light with people around and I still got chills. Some will say the movie is kind of cheesy, but because it takes place in an abandoned insane asylum, it's no longer cheesy to me. This is definitely one of those movies that needs to be watched in the day light with a Disney movie as a chaser. During the playing of these session tapes, you find out about the asbestos workers, especially the boss and it all kind of goes from there. So if you're in the mood, I recommend sitting down and opening your mind to an independent thriller.

See Saw

I freaking love Halloween. I’m a Halloween junky, which I find hilarious because I’m the biggest scaredy cat you will ever meet. My mom had to buy me a dream catcher because I used to have horrible nightmares and I would run into my parent’s room screaming. See? Scaredy cat. Horror movies are iffy. Some I can watch and be totally fine with and some I need to watch during the day followed by a Disney movie to ease the adrenaline. Like Quarantine for example. I saw that in the theatres opening day and that was a huge mistake. I was terrified for months. I’m still kind of terrified. But movies like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer are a breeze. Guys with hooks for hands and guys with masks, no big deal. Then, there are movie likes Saw. I can watch Saw, but I’m also scared of it. I can watch it because I don’t have a queasy stomach and the gore doesn’t bother me, but I’m scared to be in the dark because someone with a pig mask might jump out and get me and then I’ll wake up in a torture device I need to find my way out of. So, one part of me is scared because stuff like that could really happen, but I also think the movies are very well written and just kind of brilliant. Whoever came up with all the torture devices and the story behind the whole thing is kind of brilliant.

Saw, was just named the most successful horror movie of all time by the Guinness Book of World Records. When they say most successful, they’re talking about making the most money. So far, there have been 6 movies that have come out every Halloween since 2004 and number 7 will be the final movie and it will be released October 2010 in 3D. Count me out!!! Oh hell no. Can you imagine what my nightmares will be like then? Honestly, though a 3D horror movie is brilliant. That movie will bring in a lot of people. 3D is obviously popular and so are the Saw movies, so why not mash them together. Brilliant! If only I could come up with something like that. Did I mention it’s brilliant?

I’ve seen Saw 1-4 and I want to watch the rest just to see what happens so I will have to wait for the final movie to come out on DVD so I don’t have to watch it in 3D or in the theatres. For some reason horror movies are always scarier when watched in movie theatres. Luckily, I’ve only seen the Saw movies in the comfort of my home surrounded by pillows.

He's So Dreamy

I would like to talk a little bit about some dreamy boys. I know I know, boys have cooties, but I am willing to leave the cooties at the door. First up we have Matthew Bomer from the new show on USA called White Collar.

This is a very cute show and I highly recommend it. All the episodes are on Hulu if you’re interested. Matthew plays a guy named Neal who is a con man. He has been released from jail to help the FBI solve crimes. They dress him in super nice clothing in every episode and he is just very nice to look at. He plays the part really well too. He has the charm and sex appeal to pull off the con man thing. I enjoy this show for many reasons and Matthew Bomer is one of them.

Next, we have Robert Downey Jr. Now, we all know that his past isn’t the greatest and he doesn’t look so cute in his mug shots, but he is very talented and quite funny.

I recently saw Sherlock Holmes and rented Iron Man and he is definitely the one putting in the funny lines. He is quite nice to look at as well. Any guy that can make you laugh is worth it to me.

It helps to get to look at cute boys on occasion. Cute girls are even better.

Weekend Movie - 28 Days Later

Given that Halloween was on Saturday night, I figured I would watch a scary-ish movie to get into the full swing of the holiday. I decided to watch 28 Days Later. I was told that it was really good and who doesn’t want to watch a good movie. Um yeah, it was freaking awesome. Those of you who do not like the bloody stuff, this is not a movie for you. There is a lot of blood oozing out of all body parts.

The premise of the story is that London is being taken over by the “rages,” which was started because monkeys were given a strain of it for experimentation. The animal rights freaks let them out of the cages in turn infecting the humans. “Rages” are spread via blood, which just oozes out of the infected. They can bite you, get blood in a cut, your mouth, or eyes and it’s over. Bleh. Bloody!

Apparently, there is all this controversy as to why this movie isn’t a zombie movie. Zombies are slow moving creatures who feed on brains and they can lose limbs and not feel pain and killing them is a bit difficult. With the “ragers,” they are full functioning humans and can be killed by guns and the like. They move really fast too. I think that was the scariest part for me. Anyone can outrun a zombie. The “ragers” freaking run fast. Scary! This is definitely one of those movies that needs to be watched during the day with a Disney movie to follow. I recommend it. There is a sequel I am looking forward to called 28 Weeks Later. I will let you all know how that one goes.

P.S. After seeing the movie, the movie poster is terrifying! Looking at someone's face lets you know if they are infected or not.

More Scary!

Oy vey. So I said Saw was going to be the scary movie this Halloween, but I think I am mistaken. The movie Paranormal Activity comes out soon and is said to be the scariest movie ever. Like ever. It’s about this couple who sets up a video camera while they sleep because the girlfriend thinks there is someone/a spirit in the house. The camera catches all this scary shit. The previews for the movie have me completely scared to shit. They premiered the movie to a Hollywood audience and filmed them and if their reactions are real, than count me out! I believe in spirits and after lives and all that fun stuff, but I prefer to meet a nice ghost like Casper and not someone who is going to bite me and leave bruises or haunt me and try to kill me.

I have only seen a few scary movies in theatres, but I prefer to rent them so I can walk away when it gets too scary. This is one of those movies I will more than likely skip. See for yourself how scary this is.

Scary!

So as we all know it’s October and that means it’s time for horror movies. Time to sit in a theatre with a bunch of youths and jump when the music bumps and scream when scary shit happens. I know this; I did it last year with the movie Quarantine. My friends and I will never forget that movie as long as we live and therefore, I decided to buy it. Why not, I mean it was $10 and it’s like “our movie.” It was worth it to me. Rabies will never be the same.

So this Halloween, Saw is the movie that will haunt us. I talked about Saw a bit ago and how I can’t enter dark places because I fear someone in a pig mask is going to jump out at me and then I’m going to wake up with my eyes sewn shut or something and I will have to find my way out of where ever I am using only the sense of touch and there’s like rusty knives everywhere. Well now Universal has made that movie their Halloween Horror Nights theme. Oh hell no! If I can barely walk around in my own house, I am not going to walk through a maze where I can encounter his freaking doll and some of his favorite traps. Count me out! I used to work at Universal and I know how awesome their mazes can be.

Plus the new movie is coming out. Saw VI. How many of these movies are they going to make?!?! The killer man died in the third movie. What has been happening since he died? I don’t understand. I have seen all of the movies except for the last 2 because I’m a masochist. It terrifies me, but I’m so damn curious! I want to know who the hell is killing these people. And that voice, that voice haunts me. The voice of Jigsaw is on the commercial for Halloween Horror Nights and I pretty much pee myself every time it comes on the radio. I’m alone in the car hearing Jigsaw tell me he wants me to understand the quality of life so he’s going to put me in a trap and show me. I bet you’re peeing right now because I am!

Anyway, Halloween brings some scary ass movies. I’m sure I will see Saw VI at some point just because that’s what I do. I will more than likely wait until it comes to a Blockbuster near me because Quarantine in the theatres was the most terrifying night of my life. There is no where to retreat. You can’t hit pause and you have to watch. Horror movies are best watched during the day with all the lights on and a Disney movie ready to watch after.

Weekend Movie – Gamer

So I saw Gamer with my dad this weekend and ew. That is all I can say. This movie is definitely for boys. There were a lot of half naked girls and lots of blowing people up. I am all for the pretty girls don’t get me wrong, but I would rather have one of my own than just watch a bunch of topless chicks making out. So for you boys out there, this is a movie for you.


Gerard Butler is an incredibly talented man. He was the Phantom and he has been in romantic comedies and now he is in a bloody naked movie for boys. If for no other reason, he is the reason to see this movie. He plays a pretty bad ass guy. Killing people left and right and beating the system. There were a lot of flashing lights and funky camera moves so if you get motion sickness this is probably not the movie for you.


Also, what the hell is Kyra Sedgwick doing in this movie? She played a talk show host. Her part was pretty small and I think anyone could have played her role. She is too cute and fuzzy to be in a movie for boys.

In case no one knows what movie I am talking about, here is a trailer. For some reason I can’t find a trailer I can embed so you need to click on the link to watch.