People of Wal-Mart Wednesday

My job here today is to show the awesomeness that is America. I have dedicated every Wednesday to the amazing people of Wal-Mart. I truly feel proud and special to be an American. The people in these photos are the people we should all aspire to be at some point in our lives. People who wear their underwear on the outside of their pants or the people who allow their children to place bags over their heads or who wear clothing they should not wear do to their size and weight. I truly aspire to be like these people when I grow up. I wish that some day, everyone I know will have the same goals and ambitions. Please enjoy. I have also added the captions for your entertainment.

This man is becoming a legend on this site! But when you start to accent the undies with a flannel vest, HOT DAMN!! How could you not be legendary?
Pennsylvania
Don’t laugh! Maybe her granddaughter borrowed her Uggs and mini-skirt. Sometimes you just have to make do.
Texas
I was reluctant to put this picture up but then I realized that this picture wasn’t taken at a 1995 WWF match, and this guy isn’t “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels.
Florida
Ma’am, your “she-wolf” can clearly breathe… now please put it away, it’s scaring everybody.
Virginia
I was wondering what happened to them! Do you think this is Mack Daddy or Daddy Mack? Either way he makes me wanna “Jump! Jump!”
Texas

Hell to the Nah

So we all know who Michael Moore is right? The guy that makes documentaries that show us just how messed up we really are. Well, I think I have a new project for him. His next documentary needs to be about how Wal-Mart wants to take over the world. An article was sent around about the capitalism Wal-Mart wishes to gain and it is freaking scary. They call it “Project Impact” and they talk about how they are trying to make each shopping experience easier by opening the space and lowering the shelves so customers can see into other aisles. I guess they would need to make it all visual for their customers as opposed to having signs telling what is in each aisle because the people who tend to shop there can’t read. Here are some lovely images of Wal-Mart shoppers.

This is not ok.

Scary huh? And that is nothing. There is sooo much more where that came from.

Anyway, back on track. So this article about Wal-Mart talks about how they see stores going out of business and then try to capitalizes on the products from those stores. So if they see Michael’s going out of business, they will soon have a yarn and arts and crafts aisle. If they see Best Buy going out of business, they will suddenly have an even bigger electronics aisle. Makes me sick. Wal-Mart is not allowed to have stores in some cities because they will ruin every store around. I understand they are cheap and the economy is pretty crappy still, but I would never step foot in a Wal-Mart no matter how poor I was. So Michael Moore, I am calling to you. Please show America how horrible this place is. If you need a camera woman, I can definitely help out. So, any thoughts? Am I crazy here?